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So Bangle walks into a bar...
by Jon of the E46 M3 Message Board on

"I have arrived," he says. "Whodaman? Idaman! Whodaman? Atz right! Idaman!"
He sees an attractive girl.
"That's not for me! Eew! Get it away...that conventional beauty! Yuk!"
So, the girl's boyfriend hears this and gets pissed.
"You got a problem with my girl, buddy?"
"Ick!" he says. "She's nasty! Look at her little figure...her beautiful face...she's a dog!"
So the guy goes after him.
Bangle says, "OK, I will force my taste upon thee! Thou shalt feel my wrath!" And Bangle kicks his ass, of course, because he is a diabolical super-robot sent from the future by Mercedes to destroy BMW.
After that's all over everyone is really scared.
A quivering voice comes out of the crowd.

"Please Mr. Bangle. Tell us...what is beauty?" it asks.

"Beauty is..."
"Big asses!" he says.
"I mean, really huge deformed asses!" he continues. "And big eyebrows..."
"Oh, how I love eyebrows! Ooh, I'm getting excited," he mutters. "Ow!" he shrieks.
"You see," he says, "I like my cars how I like my women, and I like bulbous, fat-assed, big-eyebrowed women with little knobs. Now, I know people will be scared of this at first. But we will all learn to accept this new concept of beauty. Why should the supermodels turn me down whenever I ask them out and be allowed to be beautiful? I see beauty in those fat, ugly women who could love me...Chris Bangle. These are the ones that don't complain about my small penis. And I mean small."
"Seriously," he says,
"it's only this big."

"But that's okay," he concludes, "because it delivers all the functions I need in a small package and all my fat, deformed, lard-assed girlfriends don't complain about it at all."
Then he had to run outside because a hippopotamus was trying to hump his new 745i.

The End.

Jon's original post can be found on the message board at:

Chris Bangle is the head of BMW design and was responsible for the styling of the E46 3-series, but more recently, the E65/E66 7-series, Z4, E60 5-series, the upcoming 1-series, and the hideously ugly X Coupe concept car. His new direction of revolutionary, rather than evolutionary, design has angered many BMW owners, who are calling for his resignation.

This site has no affiliation with BMW North America, BMW AG, BMW M GmBH, the BMWCCA, or Chris Bangle. Just so you know.
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