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So Bangle walks into a bar...
by Jon of the E46 M3 Message Board on Roadfly.org
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"I have arrived," he says. "Whodaman? Idaman! Whodaman? Atz right! Idaman!"
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| He sees an attractive girl. |
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"That's not for me! Eew! Get it away...that conventional beauty! Yuk!"
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So, the girl's boyfriend hears this and gets pissed.
"You got a problem with my girl, buddy?" |
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"Ick!" he says. "She's nasty! Look at her little figure...her beautiful face...she's a dog!" |
| So the guy goes after him. |
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Bangle says, "OK, I will force my taste upon thee! Thou shalt feel my wrath!" And Bangle kicks his ass, of course, because he is a diabolical super-robot sent from the future by Mercedes to destroy BMW. |
After that's all over everyone is really scared.
A quivering voice comes out of the crowd.
"Please Mr. Bangle. Tell us...what is beauty?" it asks.
"Beauty is..." |
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"I mean, really huge deformed asses!" he continues. "And big eyebrows..." |
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"Oh, how I love eyebrows! Ooh, I'm getting excited," he mutters. "Ow!" he shrieks. |
| "You see," he says, "I like my cars how I like my women, and I like bulbous, fat-assed, big-eyebrowed women with little knobs. Now, I know people will be scared of this at first. But we will all learn to accept this new concept of beauty. Why should the supermodels turn me down whenever I ask them out and be allowed to be beautiful? I see beauty in those fat, ugly women who could love me...Chris Bangle. These are the ones that don't complain about my small penis. And I mean small." |
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"Seriously," he says,
"it's only this big."
"But that's okay," he concludes, "because it delivers all the functions I need in a small package and all my fat, deformed, lard-assed girlfriends don't complain about it at all." |
Then he had to run outside because a hippopotamus was trying to hump his new 745i.
The End.
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Jon's original post can be found on the Roadfly.org message board at:
http://forums.roadfly.org/bmw/forums/e46m3/forum.php?postid=415583
Chris Bangle is the head of BMW design and was responsible for the styling of the E46 3-series, but more recently, the E65/E66 7-series, Z4, E60 5-series, the upcoming 1-series, and the hideously ugly X Coupe concept car. His new direction of revolutionary, rather than evolutionary, design has angered many BMW owners, who are calling for his resignation.
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